Life can be chaotic and hectic at times. We can forget to pause and literally take a breath. It's always one thing after another since the to-do list is ever-evolving. If the list does not end, where does it leave us? To a certain extent, it is a choice to continue to let our lives run us instead of us running our lives.
If you feel like it is impossible to exert any control or change in your life, you are definitely not alone. It is hard to change…even changing 'stable' uncomfortable situations. At the end of the day, it can start with one change. It can be as simple as taking a couple deep breaths before starting work to ground yourself or saying “no” to set a firm, healthy boundary to protect your time.
Change is difficult and beautiful since it can be different depending on the person. Change can include a multitude of things from grief, letting go, to embracing newness. All of this can be extremely scary. It is understandable why people go through certain lengths to avoid change since it is unpredictable. Simultaneously, if we do not change, we remain the same. For some, they are okay with it, and there is nothing wrong with that. If you do want something new, that can be a motivator towards change.
There is a word for change being constant, impermanence. This allows us to live in the now, which is also known as mindfulness. This originates within Buddhist practices and can be integrated into anyone's lives regardless of religion. Like many things, there are two sides to impermanence. Each moment is fleeting, so this gives ourselves the permission to savor it. At the same time, if the moment is overwhelming, it will also pass. Embracing impermanence gives us the ability to feel grounded in what and who we are as well as grateful for our past selves in providing us the opportunity to become who we are now.
With this all said and done, impermanence can be a rather abstract concept/practice. People can start with various mindfulness practices, which has impermanence embedded within them.
Below are common mindfulness practices:
Being in nature (e.g., observing clouds)
Gratitude practices
Meditation (guided and/or not guided versions)
Or prayer
Physical Activities (e.g., yoga)
Self-reflection (e.g., journalling)
In addition, mindfulness has been seen to be helpful with various mental health concerns. This makes sense because if you are focused on the now, your brain will have more difficulties focusing on the future, where anxieties often lie. Anxious thoughts and emotions are often difficult to manage once they start without healthy coping skills.
If you are interested in learning more about how to cope with change in therapy, feel free to contact us.
Quote:
"No matter how much you hate change, you can be grateful for it… Change is a constant that guarantees our shittiest, darkest, times cannot stay that way." - Renee Yohe, To Write Love on Her Arms
Stay tuned. The next topic is TBA.
Written by Elena Duong, Psy.D.
Edited by Susanna La, Ph.D.
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